As the saying by Benjamin Franklin goes, ‘there’s only two things in life that are guaranteed; death and taxes.” There are a lot of loopholes one can navigate to minimize and even avoid paying taxes, case in point, our fearless commander in chief or what I like to call him, commander in tweets. For this post, I’m going to explore the one thing every one of us has in common and guaranteed in life, death. My hope after reading this post is for you to look at death not in a morbid way but from another perspective to ensure you’re living your life according to you and your terms.

As we’ve recently experienced with the passing of Kobe and those losing their lives to the COVID-19 virus, we never truly know when it’s our time. Whether we’re 34, 21, or 101, tomorrow is never guaranteed. Through a lot of self-reflection, meditation, and reading, my relationship towards mortality has shifted from one of fearing death and dying to embracing everything life has to offer, the good, the bad, and the ugly. With that being said, I’d like to share some principles and mantras that I’m working to incorporate in my life. 

Live life according to you and not what others or society expects of you

One of the most common regrets of the dying is wishing they’d had the courage to live a life true to themselves and not the life others expected of them. If you asked me 10 years ago, I had an idea of where I thought or hoped I would be in the future. Looking back, a lot of where I thought I would be was based on what others were doing; climbing the corporate ladder, getting married, starting a family, etc. Don’t get me wrong, those are things that might be a part of my future down the road but for right now I’m learning to trust myself with the decisions I’ve made in my life thus far. Today, living true to myself means going back to school for nursing and contributing to helping those in need in any way possible. In the future, I hope to fulfill what I believe I was put on this earth to do, care for others and see the world through travel. If I meet someone special along the way, great, it’ll be the cherry on top. For now, (and forever) I’m going to make decisions on what I feel is right for me and not worry about what everyone else is doing or what they might think – this is a work in progress.

Ask yourself questions that challenge you and bring you to the life you want

I ask myself a lot of questions to make sense of the world we live in. The ones below seem to come up for me time and time again.

1.) What do you want to see more in the world?

For me, it’s pretty easy…I want to see more peace, love, compassion, and kindness. I believe that being kind and showing that you care, even in the smallest ways can make a big difference in changing the world.

2.) How am I contributing to a solution in any given situation? How am I contributing to the problem in any given situation?

Whether it’s school, work, or a relationship, take a step back and ask yourself, is what I’m doing contributing to the solution or the problem.

3.) What can I do to help you/them/us?

From experience, I’ve noticed that life becomes easier and more fulfilling when I focus my time and energy on helping others. In a sense, helping others helps me get out of my own head and gives me something to focus on that’s bigger than myself.

Laughter is the best natural and free medicine

A recent experience opened my eyes to not take myself or life so seriously. None of us are going to make it out of this life alive so why not enjoy it and laugh a little…? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to mess around and not take anything seriously. Take your job and responsibilities seriously but don’t take yourself seriously because it lightens up the mood and people are more likely to want to be around you.

In the end, all we can give is our love…

After we pass, our physical bodies may no longer be with us but the lasting impression and memories we made with our loved ones will live on with them, forever. So in a sense, you may no longer be here physically, but your spirit will live on long after you’re gone. This quote summarizes what I hope to leave behind after I’m gone.

In death, we are not defined by what we did or who we were but by what we meant to others. How well we loved and were loved in return.

Before I finish, I wanted to share this CNN interview with that really struck a chord with me. I don’t know why but this story touched the whole gamut of human emotions for me and made me cry 3x (8:00 min, 10:15 min and 13:18 min mark). You made this world a better place Joe Lewinger and your legacy and life will live on through your family and all the people you touched.

I hope you got something out of this post, whether that was a laugh or smile, or it made you take a step back and think about things you want in your life. We are all a work in progress and doing the very best with what we’ve got so laugh a little and don’t forget to tell the ones you love how much they mean to you because tomorrow is never promised. We only get one shot at this thing called life but if you do it right, one shot is all you need.

QOTP: “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” –Marcus Aurelius