Come again, there’s an upside to stress?? Our whole lives we’ve been taught that stress is bad for you and to avoid it at all costs. Well, that was my attitude towards stress till earlier this year when I stumbled upon this gem of a book ‘The Upside of Stress’ by Kelly McGonigal that made me look at stress in a whole new way. Raise your hand if you’ve experienced more stress since this pandemic took over the world back in March..? *Raises hand* Record unemployment rates, businesses struggling to stay open, and not knowing who is carrying the virus or not. Throw on top of that, the social injustices ravaging our communities and you have the perfect storm for untethered stress. Well, I’m going to summarize a few of the main points from the book, how it relates to my life, and what I’m doing to befriend stress and make it my new bff.

 

Don’t try to get rid of stress because the more you resist it, the more it will persist. Aim to get better at stress.

The more you resist something, the more it will persist. I’ve learned over the last few years that the more you fight something, the harder it is to get rid of.

But Kevin, better at stress, how do you do that? Well, it’s something I’m learning on the go and have to catch myself when I start to get stressed…stress on stress on stress. Now when I encounter a stressful event in my life, I can take the advice from this book, and use it to my advantage instead of letting it become harmful to myself and others.

 

Physiologically, oxytocin helps heart cells regenerate and heal from any stress-induced damage.

Ahh, oxytocin – better known as the ‘cuddle’ hormone – is released when you have those feelings of connection with loved ones. But did you know that it’s also a ‘stress’ hormone that strengthens your heart? (I didn’t). Increasing our social connection and support releases more oxytocin, making us more resilient to the negative effects stress can cause. I’ve found this to be true in helping others, at work, at home, and in the world.

 

Science says, “When you change your mind about stress, you can change your body’s response to stress.”

How many of you have an automatic response and reflex to the word stress? Even hearing the word can stress you out, right? Well, if you can change your mind about stress, you can use it to your advantage instead of letting it overtake you. An analogy I like to think of now with stress is seeing it as exercise. When you are doing bicep curls, you are stressing out your muscles, tearing the fibers so they can grow back stronger. So the next time you’re in a stressful situation, try to take a step back and see it as a bicep curl for life. It might break you down but from that experience, you’ll be stronger for it.

 

People who spent time caring for others showed absolutely no stress-related increase in dying, zero. Caring creates resilience.

Taking care of others has helped me take care of myself by allowing me to contribute to a cause that is bigger than myself. It’s taken the spotlight off of ‘me’ and shined it on ‘we.’ I believe that this is a contributing factor why women have a longer life expectancy than man, not counting the stupid shit men do (excessive drinking, smoking, etc.). I see it at my nursing facility, the majority of my coworkers are female, strong and resilient, yet caring and loving.

 

Compared to the first book review, this book has helped me in my day-to-day by making me stop and rethink my response to stress. It’s an excellent supplemental tool that goes really well with my daily meditation practice. Like most things in life, the shift hasn’t happened overnight but I now have another tool in the toolkit to call upon to help me navigate the hectic and crazy world we live in today.

 

Book Rating: 4.1/5

Final comments: This book is good for anyone that believes stress is killing them, because it probably is. It’s a really easy read and I found the content to be really fascinating with practical advice to help shift your perspective. I’m a big fan of the author and am excited to read her newest book on “The Joy of Movement.”

Kelly gave a Ted Talk back in 2013 on the subject and I highly recommend watching it for anyone interested. It might change your mind about how you view stress.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcGyVTAoXEU

 

QOTP:  “Stress and meaning are inextricably linked. You don’t stress out about things you don’t care about, and you can’t create a meaningful life without experiencing some stress.” –Kelly McGonigal