Wait, what?  Why did I get an A- on this test?  Sound familiar? (not to you Tae – mister Berkeley TRIPLE major straight A student – thanks for the correction). It might not have started right out the gate but ever since I can remember, anything other than an A in the classroom was unacceptable.  It wasn’t because my Mom was a “Tiger Mom” or anything like that but just the way I was wired.  Some people might describe this as an all or nothing, black/white type of mindset and they’re right.  I think a lot of so-called ‘perfectionists’ have that in common where if you can’t get the job done without any mistakes, you’re not good enough or you’re a failure.  Whether that comes from society’s expectations or your own, it’s something that holds us back from experiencing and learning from our mistakes.  When I reflect on things that I’ve accomplished successfully I typically don’t put much thought into it and just move on to the next challenge.  On the flip side, if something doesn’t go as planned or I make a mistake it usually involves going back and seeing what happened.  This is where the learning/growth happens, what I like to call the ‘magic.’

An example in my life right now that I’m switching my mindset from being the perfect (fill in the blank) to ‘perfectly imperfect’ is investing.  Since my monthly expenses are really low at the moment (shoutout to the sis and bro-in-law for letting me live rent-free in exchange for babysitting), I’ve been looking into investing in the stock market.  I started an IRA right after graduating college and have contributed close to the max amount allowed every year since in addition to a separate savings account.  I was always intrigued by Wall Street, even wanted to be a stockbroker when I was younger but intimidated by the many stocks/companies to invest in.  The fundamental rule of the market: buy low, sell high.  Although there are times when it’s better to enter the market. no one can predict the future with 100% accuracy.  I’m planning to diversify my investing between index funds (which basically means you own a tiny portion of the entire market – from my understanding) and individual stocks.  Even though I’d like to see my money grow, I also understand there will be ups/downs, ebbs and flows.  My goal is to learn what to do when things are down, whether that’s buying more shares at a lower cost and how to maximize the momentum when things are growing, maybe selling a portion of a share that was bought at a low price.

Speaking of growth, I think when you try to perfect things in your life, you shut out the possibility to learn from your mistakes and grow.  Many times people fear making a mistake because of the criticism and judgment associated with not getting it right.  I know I’m guilty of this and think that if I don’t get things right it’s life or death.  That is rarely the case unless you’re walking a tightrope 500 feet above the group, then you’d better be perfect.  You get the point though, get rid of that all or nothing mentality and adopt a ‘what can I learn from my mistakes’ instead.  The older I get, the more I realize that mistakes and experiences are your best teachers.

QOTP: “When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver.”  -Brene Brown